It starts as....

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you... She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce... I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chop sticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company...

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy... Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions... She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully...

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time... I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger…” I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead....... I cried and cried uncontrollably and carried her for the last time from the room to the hall with tears streaming down my face and gazing at my only son, his tears rolling from his eyes, they made me cry even more. I had lost my love, my wife and a loving and caring mother and nothing I could do now to put the clock backward... I had all the time now to look at her motionless body in detail but I knew it was going to be only for a short while until she made her last journey to the Lord..... I held my son and wept again and again thinking of all the things I did not do for her when she was still alive....... & placed gently the flowers in her hands with my tears trickling on them....... she was gone forever, all my tears would not bring her back .


The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Give it a thought, you might just save a marriage.

To those who are married… Not married... and soon to be married

 

मानव जीवन है दौड़ कुछ पाने को,
है एक अँधा युद्ध गंतव्य पर जाने को,
जूझ रहे है सब लक्ष्य को पाने को,
देखना है किसमे हिम्मत आगे जाने को,


सभी को सितारे तोड़ लाने की ख्वाहिश है,
इन के बीच अपनी भी आजमाईश है,
दम भर बैठे है सभी लक्ष्य को पाने की,
हमें भी जिद्द है कुछ कर गुजर जाने की,


माना दूर है मंजिल और रास्ता आसान नहीं है,
पर यह थक कर बैठ जाने वालो का काम नहीं है,
गर जिंदगी रही तो सब को बता देंगे,
जो आज है सपना वो कल सच करके दिखा देंगे......



“All men seek one goal : success or happiness. The only way to achieve true success is to express yourself completely in service to society. First, have a definite, clear practical ideal; a goal, an objective. Second, have the necessary means to achieve your ends; wisdom, money, materials, and methods. Third, adjust all your means to that end.”

“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on an objective which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.”

आओ बंधू उस उत्थान  तक चले ,
रास्तों के मुश्किलों को आसान करते चले,
गर कदम थक जाये तब भी उस पावदान तक चले,
आओ बंधू उस उत्थान  तक चले....

जहाँ रात की ख़ामोशी खत्म हो,
और सुबह का प्रकाश छा जाए,
हाँ उसी मुक़ाम तक चले,
आओ बंधू उस उत्थान  तक चले.....

जीवन के तम को चीरते ,
लालच और द्वेष जैसे तत्वों को छोड़ते ,
हम सभी एक समान हो कर चले,
आओ बंधू उस नए जग में इंसान बन कर चले......

“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence.”

“In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.”

"The desire to succeed means nothing without the will to prepare!" 
-- Brian Tracy

"Apathy (also called impassivity or perfunctoriness) is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern,excitement, motivation and passion. An apathetic individual has an absence of interest or concern to emotional, social, or physical life. They may also exhibit an insensibility or sluggishness."

न जाने क्यूँ मैं निराश हूँ ,
न जाने क्यूँ मैं उदाश हूँ ,
न जाने क्यूँ मैं सबसे दूर हूँ ,
जब की उन्के कितने पास हूँ ,
न जाने क्यूँ मैं निराश हूँ ,
न जाने क्यूँ ....

कल तक मैं उन्के साथ था ,
कल तक मैं उन्के पास था ,
एक छन् पहले मैं खुश था ,
अगले पल मैं हताश हूँ ,
न जाने क्यूँ मैं निराश हूँ ,
न जाने क्यूँ ....

जाने आज क्या हो गया है ,
जाने मुझसे क्या खो गया है ,
न कल कुछ मेरे पास था ,
न आज मैं बदहवाश हूँ ,
न जाने क्यूँ मैं निराश हूँ ,
न जाने क्यूँ ....
न जाने क्यूँ .........


"When fight begins within himself, a man's worth something." - Sir Frederick Browning

"The greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." - Miguel De Cervantes

"It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others." - Sidney J. Harris

"A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most. On Other Peoples Expectations: The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me." - George Bernard Shaw